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Sunday, April 7, 2013

Things I Have Learned In Life

Things I Have Learned In Life

by: Dale (ME)



I once learned, as a kid, that you can only hold two Magpie eggs in your mouth to bring them down from the nest. Three requires that one break. Don’t ask me how I know.


            As a new driver, I learned that while coming home from work (1 am)  you never turn off of the highway to an icy dirt road. If you do, never take your eyes off the road while trying to shift the 1974 Bronco your father owns into four wheel drive. You may end up nose down in a ditch with no wheels touching the ground. You may have to thumb a ride home, wake your father and confess to wrecking his Bronco and then meet a highway patrolman at the scene. Don’t ask me how I know.


            I once learned (age 6-9?) that when leading your sister to see the bran new kittens in the neighbors’ barn that you should go around the manure pit. Yes, the manure is crusty and it holds you up to walk across it but, your sister is older and weighs a little bit more than you. The crust on the top of the manure pit does not hold her up.


            As a young Boy Scout I learned that when you build a camp fire in dry grass in the bottom of a narrow and steep hollow and the wind starts to blow the fire WILL leave the rock circle and burn up the side of the hill at an extremely fast pace. Don’t ask me how I know.


            As a 12 year old Boy Scout at Camp Wilderness, I learned that after a campfire put on by the camp staff you may feel tears in your eyes as they play taps at the fire, it is repeated from a hill a ways away and then repeated again somewhere far off in the dark. But you still hide it. On this same camp I learned that after climbing to the top of the mountain to see into the Cache Valley (this mountain is east of Preston Id.) expecting to see the fireworks on the fourth of July that they are not as big as you expected. Just little colored “blips” way off in the distance. It was very disappointing to my young mind as I had expected it to be similar to being there under the fireworks.


            The next year at Camp Hunt on Bear Lake I learned that if you take a blue and red magic marker with you to camp you can skip the swim test in the cold water and just mark your swim tag later as “Swimmer” No that is not acceptable. Neither was stealing a fork from the kitchen, tying it to a long stick to make a spear and then checking out a canoe, leaving the bounds of the camp and spearing a very large Carp. I did turn the carp in to staff and won the Big Fish Contest at the last night of camp. I felt better about it then. Still was not right.


            I learned that if you ride your bike down a seldom used dirt road that you need to watch out for a single strand of barbed wire that will catch your front tire, flip up and catch you on the nose at eye level. This will in turn stop your forward motion, tear you from the seat of the bike and help you to land on your back and hit your head. Since you don’t know what time it was before the accident, you don’t know how long you lay unconscious


I learned that when riding a snowmobile east of Hyde Park in the fields that some of the fences are covered just enough for the top strand of wire to catch the skis of your snowmobile. This tends to stop the snowmobile quite quickly launching you into the air.

To be continued...


Arnoya Ari said...

You've learned a lot, good luck for further studies;)

Ginger said...

Love your lessons!

holdingmoments said...

great list of learning Dale. That's what growing up is all about.
Sadly the Health & Safety madness over here means kids miss out on life's experiences of growing up.

JoLynne Lyon said...

Holy cow! Glad you made it this far!