Things I Have Learned In Life
by: Dale (ME)
I once learned, as a kid, that you can only hold two Magpie eggs in your mouth to bring them down from the nest. Three requires that one break. Don’t ask me how I know.
As a new driver, I learned that while coming home from work (1 am) you never turn off of the highway to an icy dirt road. If you do, never take your eyes off the road while trying to shift the 1974 Bronco your father owns into four wheel drive. You may end up nose down in a ditch with no wheels touching the ground. You may have to thumb a ride home, wake your father and confess to wrecking his Bronco and then meet a highway patrolman at the scene. Don’t ask me how I know.
I once learned (age 6-9?) that when leading your sister to see the bran new kittens in the neighbors’ barn that you should go around the manure pit. Yes, the manure is crusty and it holds you up to walk across it but, your sister is older and weighs a little bit more than you. The crust on the top of the manure pit does not hold her up.
As a young Boy Scout I learned that when you build a camp fire in dry grass in the bottom of a narrow and steep hollow and the wind starts to blow the fire WILL leave the rock circle and burn up the side of the hill at an extremely fast pace. Don’t ask me how I know.
As a 12 year old Boy Scout at
, I learned
that after a campfire put on by the camp staff you may feel tears in your eyes
as they play taps at the fire, it is repeated from a hill a ways away and then
repeated again somewhere far off in the dark. But you still hide it. On this
same camp I learned that after climbing to the top of the mountain to see into
the Cache Valley (this mountain is east of Preston Id.) expecting to see the
fireworks on the fourth of July that they are not as big as you expected. Just
little colored “blips” way off in the distance. It was very disappointing to my
young mind as I had expected it to be similar to being there under the
The next year at
on I learned that if you take a blue
and red magic marker with you to camp you can skip the swim test in the cold
water and just mark your swim tag later as “Swimmer” No that is not acceptable.
Neither was stealing a fork from the kitchen, tying it to a long stick to make
a spear and then checking out a canoe, leaving the bounds of the camp and
spearing a very large Carp. I did turn the carp in to staff and won the Big
Fish Contest at the last night of camp. I felt better about it then. Still was
not right. Bear Lake
I learned that if you ride your bike down a seldom used dirt road that you need to watch out for a single strand of barbed wire that will catch your front tire, flip up and catch you on the nose at eye level. This will in turn stop your forward motion, tear you from the seat of the bike and help you to land on your back and hit your head. Since you don’t know what time it was before the accident, you don’t know how long you lay unconscious
I learned that when riding a snowmobile east of
Hyde Park in the fields
that some of the fences are covered just enough for the top strand of wire to
catch the skis of your snowmobile. This tends to stop the snowmobile quite
quickly launching you into the air.